When Pigs Fly...

Remember all those things you promised your friends and family then saying "when pigs can fly"... well I have news for you! Apparently they CAN fly! You just need to "wine" them first.
So I gotta give my best friend 1000$, give my brother all my Transformers, and clean my room and do my homeworks. Oh and hook up with Jessica Alba. I'm sure she'll say yes after I explain to her that now that pigs can fly we could finally be together... or would I explain it to her body guard?