Top 10 Strangest Office Gadgets

Ever since the invention of the dull office, people oped to make it interesting. Check these top 10 office Gadgets from techeblog.com. My top3 favourite ones are:

1) wearable sleeping bag: for those late nighs at the office programming.

2) USB Aroma Therapy - Choose 1 of 3 smells from your PC. If your offcie gets stinky.

3) Ipod Nano Tie - for those boring office meetings, pump up the jam.

Mine's the smallest, no mine is!

Check this console size comparaison chart they came with... you know what I think? I think it's some propaganda campaign from Nintendo to prove that their console is the smallest, cutest and the one thats the easiest to swallow by mistake (small future cellphone in Futurama ;-)
Give me some performance comparaisons, people, then we'll talk.

Google Talk is drunk...

Check this out! I used the below "google talk" hack tool just for fun and typed: 'i love jessica alba', which is a valid statement 100% of the guys would agree upon (even the gay ones) . What I got from google is the following: [look at the image]. From it, we can understand that:

• Jessica Alba is HOT (what else is new)
• then Google started to get all wierd and shit, saying: "i LOVE him so much" (i don't care how much 100% vodka you drink she still looks like a girl)
• Google is a fan of the Rolling Stones when it's stoned: "can't get no satisfaction? cause I try and I try and I try..."

Well, to get some real satisfaction without trying endlessly, just click on the next image:

Google Talk

Use Google talk by entering three or four words below. The system will search for this sentence at Google, find the next word and print that. Than it will remove the first word of the search string, add the found word and repeat. The result seems to be meaningfull sometimes. Other times it is giblish. But always fun.



Google talk a
Google Hack by
Douwe Osinga

Capture a High Definition Position with your Palm!

The title might have sexual connotation but who cares!? It's finally here (and by finally I mean 2 months ago) the High Definition resolution (720p) in a handheld camera + a 5.1 Megapixel camera = high immediate gratification! The camera works with SD cards which are like 90$ cnd for a 2Gig card which can hold 42min of HD MPEG4 video. Not a lot but the quality is amazing and the price tag? Around 800$ cnd, even cheaper in the US.
Check out these specs baby:

• True 720p High-Definition Video (that's a lot of Peas, believe me)
• 10x Optical Zoom Lens (for chicks on the beach)
• 5.1 Megapixel Digital Still Images (for printing posters of the chicks)
• 2.2 Inch OLED display (when it's cold outside)
• Superfast 9 Mbps transfer rate (wear your seatbelt!)
• Sleek & Sexy Ergonomic Design
• Built-In Image Stabilizer (for excess movement of the hand)

View the interactive demo from the Sanyo site. Or some Sample pics and HD videos at StevesDigicams.com Sanyo HD1 Samples.

This is not a post about American Idol

Well shit maybe it is, so what?! I watched the finale yesterday by mistake because my TV was on. I promise that for fans of "anything else but American Idol" I will have naked boobies for u later on... Promise.
So yeah, Taylor Hicks won! I also won 10$ on a bet. Which after the "danse-contact" of 8$ without tip, I would be left then, with 2$ which I will use for a Tuesday special for KFC! Now, where was I? Oh the guy with white curtains that match the drapes (ie: T. Hicks). He was a bit better that that cute girl with the "tig ol' bittes" Katharine McPhee (sounds like the next sandwitch name at McDonalds: "trio # 3 the McPhee please..." yummy) !
The best parts were:

• When that wierd Clay Akon fan sang then the real Clay "elf ears" Akon showed up from behind and started singing and they made him sit down and shudup.
• the Brokenote Cowboys won the best male bonding (ie: Gay) moment, then sang
• but the best is when Prince (or the artist formally known as '&') showed up in his 80s purple suit and sang worst than any Idol in the top 10

As promised: naked boobies, enjoy gu/ays!

Rise of Legends is too good not to marry ;-)

So I recently purchased (and by purchased I mean ofcourse wait 1.5days to download from BitTorrent) Rise of Legends, the follower of Rise of Nations who passed right below my big nose in 2003 & had an average score of 9.3 on the Gamespot scale. My criteria for good games has been redefined over the years and let me show u the reasons that make a game sexy for Vman in 2006:

• If it runs slow (full detail on) on my freak machine with it's huge 1500 MB of x2 D's (Dual channel) Ram, sizzling Radeon X800 GT 256mb and intelligent 3 Ghz P4 HT 613 CPU. So I have to put it on medium resolution. (hope that I scared away all chicks who read this blog... don't worry tomorrows menu: a naked dude)
• If I have to stay until 2AM to play it when I have to wake up at 5:30AM for my midterm
• If I make lame excuses to my GF when she wants it, to run play with it (not with 'IT' pervs..)

So yeah it's an awesome RTS game you should all try before you die, it looks awesome, it sounds awesome, it plays awesome, and it's the shiaatz!

Check these amazing screensots i "borrowed" from Gaymespot.com (go & check out their videos too) who gave it only a 7.6 when it deservs a 10.6:

If you get dumped... swallow your pride!

[updated with another breakup clip]
Who didn't get dumped before? "It's not you it's me", "I'm in a point in my life that...", "our lives go in different directions...", "your mom/dad satisfies me better than you" all sounds familiar right? Well you never saw a a breakup like this! I almost spit my drink from laughter!

While we are on the breakup subject check this one on Live TV! "Get the fuck out of my life!"

What do you think?

Picture in a picture in a picture... and Pjotro dancer

First, check this site out of a picture within a picture withing a picture. I can go forever just clicking on the pics. I'm sure this thing has a name, I just forgot it...

Second thing is this Pjotro dancer (russian?) you can choose his moves, that change the music, then save the video or music as an mp3 and send it to yourself.

Shave my kiwis and my carrot-top!

Guys, it's finally here! It's like inventing the wheel or girl-on-girl movies... it is called: the Phillips Bodygroom! A magic device for all eastern Europeans who suffer from the "werewolf syndrome". It literally shaves every hair on your body even the hard to reach places like: the top of your toes, around your nipples and sometimes your tongue. It has a rechargable battery, it's water proof and hopefully will touch my skin sometimes this weekend (ordered it form the States)!
If you are not interested in the product at least check the website ShaveEverywhere.com and see the full screen flash animation with that funny dude - and you can ask him questions (Main Menu - The Basics).

Hillarious "How to..." guides

I found this new site called Cracked.com which is kinda like a MAD magazine ripoff, and I found a few "How to" guides that were really funny:

How To Write a Bestseller - which is a crack at people who write books to "dimistify" the DaVinci Code. My favorite is how it defines
"book: To record charges against (a person) on a police blotter, e.g. Take him downtown and book him"
"fiction: Fiction is a Latin word meaning “stuff that never happened.” and
"non-ficiton: A Latin word meaning, literally, Not stuff that never happened". While you are there check also the comic they posted: DaVinci Conundrum.

Graduation Special: How to Ace Your First Job Interview - Do not follow any tips that they mention here... My favourite is:
In your CV: Here are a few qualities to mention:
- Can kill a chicken dead with only one hand
- Proficient in SEGA
- Hardly wets the bed at all anymore
- Recently threw away pretty much all of my pornography collection
- Have successfully kissed the tip of my own penis/vagina
- Likes to watch you sleep

Some Helpful Suggestions For My Boss - I'm doing a Management course part-time and I have to show this to my teacher. My Favourite part is:
MY CHALLENGE:
I find it difficult to get sufficiently hard when masturbating in the staff bathroom to pictures of CEO Brad Newford's wife.
ADVISED SOLUTION:
Perhaps Brad could leave more attractive pictures of his wife on his desk for the purposes of short-term bathroom reallocation. Tight-fitting and revealing clothes are key; losing weight essential.

StrongBad Email: ISP

So I felt like posting a 2nd post today because a) monday i was too tired to post and b) that 11 year old mom story is wierd as the first post you see on my blog...
It is StronBad email #152 talking about ISP and tech support. And since I'm working in the tech support buisness I found it really funny.
Why? Check out my favorite lines:

• - "...UK" - "Yeah I'm fine, Gary. Calm down"
• Thank you for calling the internet, may I have your account number or identity theft, please?
• a'am, please calm down. Your CD tray is not a cup holder.
• All right, I can help you with that. Please hold while I transfer you to someone who can help you with that.
• STRONG BAD: Well, back in the day I used to connect at 1200 baud, but ever since the merger I'm lucky if I get 12 baud.

Girl, 11 Gives Birth!

Yeah u read right, this 11 year old in Britain, got pregnant and she will give birth at 12! The father is a 15 year old boy who was drunk and had sex with her at a party. And if that's not crazy, she also smokes 20 cigarettes a day! Read the crazy story here. Another crazy similar story in russia. What has the world gotten to?!

PS: Do you know the one about... a guy who goes to the pharmacy and says "I need some condoms for my 11-year-old daughter." The pharmacist is shocked: "Your daughter is sexually active at 11?"
The guy says, "Nah, she just lies there like her little brother." (sickipedia.org)

Paris Hilton is Singing!

Shit, quick convince her to make another amateur sex video (then send it to me)! Please listen to this excuse for a song that she now released. it goes "I'm sexy and you know it... up yours". No Paris, no! Up yours, up yours and suck it... deep!
You will never have a career in the music industry, just stick with what you're doing best: being stupid and pretty, and releasing paparazi pics for the Inquirer and for guys to put on their blogs.
I rather shoot myself in the head, or play this Japanese Heel Breaker game than listening to Paris sing one more second.

PS: What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a solar powered calculator?
-Paris works in the dark!

G[a/u]ys at work

Hay-di-(man)-ho!
Seriously, they posted these pamphlets today about how to release stress at work and I thought it would be interesting to spice them up... gaylord focker style! enjoy.

PS: tell me what you think!

E3 is CRAY-ZEE!

So you must have heard about this little thing called E3, that has been going on...
You MUST check the press conference videos from GameSpot E3 coverage:

Sony - Fucking PS3! hello!? best of all consoles: with 70 cell processors, 2 terabytes of ram and 8 video cards (no kiddin' ;-)! (price: 550$ cnd 20GB version) Metal Gear Solid 4 and the new GTA4 also was on display. Awsome connectivity with the PSP and cool motion sensor 6 way controller.

Nintendo - The Wii (ie: Revolution, or a scream of a kid who gets it for christmas) was on display and controller is AWSOME! Nice game: Red Steel with the sword. Also a new zelda (they have to make $ too): Zelda: Twilight Princess and other games for 0-3 year olds...

Microsoft - HALO 3 (goddamit i'm gonna cum... 3 times)! also, Fable 2 and Blue Dragon!

Top 10 Web Distractions at Work!

BuisnessWeek online created these Top Ten Desktop Diversions, 2006 that would... distract you , at work. I really like:

• Zillow.com - See your house and your neighbouring houses estimate in the US. Check the famous people's houses seen from a bird's eye.
• FreeCycle.com - you need to get rid of anything old for free? post it, and people come pick it up. (excluding your grandpa)
• EvTV1.com - showing movie clips 24/7.

Also about distractions at work, please vote if you think this picture that I took with my firends at the badminton court is GAY or NOT-GAY... some people have doubts.

That joke was sick ;-( , why am I laughing ;-] ?!

You know which jokes are the funniest? Sick jokes? why? they are short to the point and make u sick and laugh in the same time! That's why a group of sick people started Sickipedia.org, to collect the worlds best sick jokes. I don't think there is a minority group that is not left unhumiliated there: Paedophile, Religion, Racism, Gay, Jacko, Beatles, Disability...

Here are a few of my favourites (too many):
(please note that i'm not that sick to make these up i just Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V them)

• What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? -I don't know about you, but I get an erection
• What do you call a paedophile pirate? - Arr Kelly.
• What's the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the shower? - One's got a soul full of hope, the others got a hole full of soap.
• Two muslim extremists walk into a bar. - Boom! Boom!
• How do you know if your best mate's gay? -His dick tastes like shit.
• How many homosexuals does it take to put in a light bulb? - Only one...but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out.
• What would it take to reunite 'The Beatles'? - Two bullets.
• Why is Michael Jackson always late for work?
  Because he likes to come in a little behind.
• Why did Hitler commit suicide?
  He got the gas bill.
• What did the blind, deaf and dumb girl get for Christmas?
  - Cancer
• What has 8 legs and makes girls scream?
  Gang rape.
• How do you get a fat girl into bed?
  Piece of cake.
• What's got 100 balls and f*cks rabbits?
  A shotgun.
• How do you make a cat go "Woooof!"?
  Cover it in petrol and strike a match
• What's grey and comes in pints?
  An elephant.

Please don't send me letters, but feel free to comment which one you liked/made u sick ;-)

Mod my case baby...

Change is always good, upgrades are always better. Check these Utimate List of PC Case Mods that will make any girl's head turn (and by girl I mean your keeky friend). I modded my case once, I baught a Alien pc case that had 2 blue leds behind his eyes, that would prevent me from sleeping while my torrents were being downloaded...
Anyway, my favorite case mod pics are:

Bender - hope he doubles as a fridge for beers










Maya - I would be distracted to use this PC










Martini Glass - call alcoholics anonymous










Toilet PC- inside it's a shitty pc..










Nighthawk: Skunkworks F117-A
freeeakin nice!









Tie Fighter
for you StarWars geeks









Oh... and last but not least check the Cuban PC. LOL, that's a cool mouse/iron, you can frag your friends at Counterstrike and iron your shirts for work in the same time!
(when is valentine's day coming up? My GF needs one of these irons. If she'll read this she would smack me in the head with it...)













Which one is your favorite?

Cobra Commander's Dating Tips

For all of you G.I. Joe fans, and for the girls out there who should be careful about who they date, check these hilarious Cobra Commander Dating Tips.
My favourite ones are:

• If said phone number turns out to be erroneous, assign Storm Shadow to assassinate her.
• When picking up a date, it’s unnecessary to arrive with a battalion of H.I.S.S. tanks
• If a girl refuses to go out with you for a second date, abduct her using the M.A.S.S. device.
• Never bang Roadblock’s sister (the pic on the right).

TV Fun House on SNL!

I donno if you were watching SNL in this past weekend but it was hilarious! The ambiguously gay duo (photo on the right) were hosting this week and they had like 20 new cartoons created by the same guy who dose them. I will try to find them and post them here. Meanwhile, there are 5 clips of them on NBC's SNL website - enjoy.

My favorite cartoons were:

• The Arabic cartoon channel (el yehuudi! and the fact they hinted to Allah and the virgins)
• Clintons speech (with the cum-spots everywhere)
• George W's speeches (when he put a monkey suit in Africa)
• Disney Vault (when they discovered Disney was a racist)
• Michael Jackson's cartoon (with the kid smell on the balcony)